The problem with trying to lead a consciously compassionate life is that I feel so much more; more sensitive to cruelty whether it is towards a living being physically or towards myself emotionally. This is a strange feeling for me and it feels like my heart is very exposed right now. <\/p>\n
Throughout my life I’ve survived quite a lot and been through some pretty serious trauma. Most folks don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know the details since I’m not big on sharing (or hugging, likely due to that same trauma and the fallout from it). As a result of that trauma I have my head \u00e2\u20ac\u0153shrunk\u00e2\u20ac\u009d at least twice and both doctors I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve seen were surprised I did not develop multiple personality disorder to cope with the trauma. Instead I learned to cope through disassociation, putting myself outside of the situation and not allowing myself to physically or emotionally suffer through the bad times. <\/p>\n
That is how I still cope in times of extreme stress; I basically shut down. Combined with a family history of mental disorder, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m surprised I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m anywhere near normal mentally, as far as doctors are considered at least. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The problem with trying to lead a consciously compassionate life is that I feel so much more; more sensitive to cruelty whether it is towards a living being physically or towards myself emotionally. This is a strange feeling for me … Continue reading