So here’s the deal: I am closing the studio at the end of the summer if I can’t cover the costs of the studio throughout the summer (e.g. the $1,460 monthly lease payment) with studio-based income. Last year I emptied my joint savings account to keep it open, this year even though I am teaching, running the studio and working part-time, I am struggling to just pay personal bills and the financial stress is affecting my mental and physical heath. This cannot go on for me anymore.
I have pretty much given up. Everything I try to do lately seems to fall apart. I almost never cry, but right now my eyes are puffy and swollen from spending the last 30 minutes sobbing on the couch. It’s all too much for me any and I really give up.
Unless I get some kind of GINORMOUS sign from the Universe to do otherwise, I will most likely be closing the studio, re-joining the regular work force and taking a complete break from all dance in the fall.
There was more to this, but I decided to edit it out since it was quite personal and would have pointed fingers at those people I am feeling very betrayed and disappointed by lately. It was cathartic enough to just write it out, no need to share with the entire world.
Acceptance, or rather, I’m too tired to fight anymore.