If the Buddha had a bosom

Last night my Yoga Flow class had what the teacher called a ‘ladder flow’, where one pose it taken and then after each vinyasa/chataranga it is repeated with another pose following it and so on. This is basically how I do all my flows at home so it felt very natural at first.

Crouching down dog was a new twist on a well-known pose and the ever-challenging three legged dog that makes my glutes ache the day after in an oh-so-good way.

Bow your Humble Horse a million times to insure inner thighs ache as much as the glutes do and I was back to dripping sweat all over my mat. Then add some eagle arms while you do so wide-legged forward fold to ensure you get up close and personal with your sweat-filled décolletage and I was ready to go jump in the snowbank even though it was -15F last night.

Still comparing myself shape-wise to the Buddha, the roly poly version at least.  I’m stronger, but I’m pretty sure that if the Buddha did yoga and had an ample bosom he would not be inclined to do any eagle arms, extensive twists or folds.

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Yoga devil in spandex pants

Anyone who identifies as a Power/Hot/Warm Vinyasa Yoga teacher might be the devil in spandex pants. And I’m starting to think anyone who prefers Lizard over pigeon might immediately fall into this category as well. Not because Lizard is hard for me, in fact it’s too easy due to my extended range of flexibility, but it’s one that I too easily flop into unsupported by muscles and therefore almost always end up overstretched the next day with even tighter hip muscles than I had before.

Another Vinyasa class last night and today my arms, pecs and back ache. Liking the challenge, not loving the classes, but not willing to waste the punch card money so I’ve got three of NOT QUITE MY KIND OF YOGA classes more to go. But I’m sticking with it and that’s something.

And of course today I woke up looking like a cross between Shirley Temple and the lead singer from A Flock of Seagulls so much reaching overhead for combing and brushing was needed to get my hair presentable for the public.


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issues with authority

Apparently I take issue with stupid authority too:

We just had a power outage. The whole building went dark. Not great if you are the power company. It came up within less than a minute, but since I work in IT and in the same building where the servers are at I hear all the “Oh no!” panic statements about the servers and the work that other programmers had lost.

Our DBA says “Man, if the servers went down I’m losing the whole days’ work”. Fortunately he didn’t since the server room is protected and on a huge UPS. We also have power strips along all the walls in our (stupid, stupid) semi-open office plan. Some have bright orange plugs and I recall being told they were wired the UPS. I ask the DBA if he was plugged into one. He says “No, I was told not to use them by power on high.” I ask, but why? And follow up with emphatic “I want to know why”.

So some guy from the group that does our IT support comes over to my area. I’m not a fan of this guy to begin with and the fact that he overhears all our conversations and feels the need to comment irks me. He snarkily says the reason we can’t use the UPS plugs is because it is connected to the server room and “if you want to keep the servers alive then don’t use it.”

I can feel my blood boiling as I try to keep a calm façade. “Then why were they even installed in a common work area if they should not be used?” I ask.

I don’t have an answer for that.

Screw you authority. You make no sense!

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feeling stabby

Open office plans are the suck, but they could work if people just had a little respect for their fellow human beings. Blatantly noisy and disrespectful co-workers are the suck.

Stab. Stab. Stab.

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The good news is I now know how to do a factory reset on my phone. The bad news is that didn’t solve the rebooting problem and it deleted everything in my calendar which deleted everything in my desktop Outlook calendar when I synced it without thinking about the fact that I do two-way syncing which deleted my Outlook calendar. And my phone is still doing crazy reboots daily.

Apparently, the Universe thinks this whole concept of non-attachment is one I’m still needing to learn.

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Seeing a need, not filling it.

“Ok yogis, start in child’s pose. Think about setting your intention for the day. Be present here and leave your day outside.“

My reaction: Ah, this is nice.

Cues up class music, first song is Holiday music.

My Reaction: Stab, stab, stab!

Maybe this is one of the reasons why I’ve never felt the call to be a traditional yoga teacher.

I do have my RYT 200 done. Did it a few years ago.  And I personally enjoy calm relaxing music, chants are even nice.  Slower paced movement is more my style too.  It’s the “Let’s flow” so fast that I am about to hyperventilate from the quicker pace than I’m used to, the bubbly “Ok Yogis! …” and repetitive “Great job” and the incorporation of popular music that is making me nuts. I could do without the rose-scented spray at the end of a class which makes me cough and gag even when sprayed in my general direction.

I’m also realizing just how much I appreciate good verbal cueing and miss it when it is missing.  See that dumbfounded look on my face? That is me totally not understanding what the heck you just said!   But it’s the closest studio to get to after work and I’m enjoying getting the gentle push back into a regular practice before I end up back on my own practice at home either self-led or I might do a yoga vibes subscription.  I needed a way to jump-start my practice and this was a good way to do it.

Four more classes and I’m not likely to go back.  But buying a 10-class punch card has been a great way to get me back into the swing of things and hopefully, I’ll be able to stick with it after this is done.

This has also made me think.  I see a need. A need for classes that I would like to attend since I’m not really finding them in town.  But unlike the dance studio fiasco, I won’t try to fill this need myself. I’ll just fill it for myself.  Might be selfish, but it’s all I can do right now.


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yoga as therapy

Saturday’s class was less yoga and more therapeutic. One of those “It’s good for you” types of classes  even though it might not feel so great while you do it. It was essentially a private lesson too since I was the only one there so we talked a bit while we worked on our “Myofascial Roll & Release.”  A great refresher on what I already knew and I picked up a few more tricks too.

During our class the teacher and I chatted intermittently. The topic of me having the RYT 200 hour came up, but she seemed most interested in my dance and mentioned she had done Hula with another local teacher.  She knew of my studio and even knew Tribal Wallah by name.  About midway through our class she said:

“I’ll be your tribe misses you”

Twinge. Pangs of guilt.  But also release.

I’m not sure I actually replied with anything since she said something about not doing hula anymore and missing it but filling it with something else. I think I nodded. And then I spent the rest of the class thinking about that and in fact I’m just now getting around to really processing it:

I’m thinking even the Buddha might have trouble with this non-attachment.  But it had to go.  And yet it is missed.


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Why the Buddha might be bald…

Another overly sweaty yoga class. But I made it through and it’s times like this that I’m really glad I cut all my hair off. I will never intentionally go to a hot yoga class, but it seems like anything over 70F is too hot for me anyway.  

Starting to totally understand the appeal of the whole bald Buddha thing right now.  

Apparently my body thinks a FLOW YOGA class is the same as aerobic exercise.

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Day two

Lessons learned today: until my general shape is less-Buddha like, I eat nothing before class.  Even the banana I ate one hour prior felt icky in my stomach.  And beans for breakfast are likely not the greatest idea if yoga is planned for that evening!

Same class, different teacher.  Too hot for personal comfort still but today there was not so much sweating: that could be because I cut my hair super short over the weekend.

Overall still feel good about getting to class with the regular teacher next week.  I didn’t love the class, but I liked how I felt afterward.  And last week it only took five days for me to stop saying “ouch” every time I climbed stairs.  Eventually, there will be no pain, since it’s just weakness leaving the body, right?

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Day one

Sweating buckets at my first yoga class in a very, very long time. And something tells me that if Buddha did any Yoga that he didn’t do a lot of bending or twists.

Might need to cut down on the cake. But that class felt really good.

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