Winter Solstice, Dec. 21, 2012

We spent solstice night at the Downtown Fairbanks Winter Solstice Festival. Full photos here

We saw Santa:

And of course I did this:

There was Coco the reindeer:

We stopped at Bahn Thai and got dinner.

Then we walked over to the Fudge Pot. I was one of the Kickstarter backers for this and my reward for contributing was that we were going to sit inside and watch, but I decided to go outside since I couldn’t see or hear very well and am really glad I did 🙂

Finally, there were fireworks at -40. Oh yes!

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Why they fall away

Just figured out why I am not a fan of vampire-led shows: vampires tend to be sarcastic, negative, depressing and far too “emo” for my tastes. I feel the same way about the living which had made me realize why certain people tend to fall out of my life even though I liked them.

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How to react to death?

Co-worker lost her husband of 33 years yesterday to cancer. She’s been out of the office pretty much since I started back at work so that she could be with him since they knew it was coming. I never meet him, but I feel so bad for her. She is a strong person and has two sons and two grand-kids to take care of and that will help her though this time, but my heart hurts for her.

I was not exposed to death as a kid and the fortunate part of having ‘my family start with me’ is that there is not a lot of folks around me that I see die, but it also makes it really hard since I’ve barely been touched by death. And the older I get, the less sure I am about how to react or even be or behave appropriately around people who have been touched by death. I listen well. I don’t really like to hug. I hope listening is enough……

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Adventures in Baking!

Thinking that when the recipes said “toasted pecan halves” that the instructions for toasting them would have been in the recipe.

I was wrong.

Hoping they will still turn out okay, considering this has been the most convoluted recipe I’ve ever tried to make, plus the dough has been in the fridge for a week and I now have RAW pecan halves in my rolls.

Trying to make Pumpkin Sticky Buns with Pecan Bourbon Caramel Goodness

Update, they were pretty good. Pictures here

A little undercooked at first, but very, very tasty nonetheless!

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A tragedy

Today’s tragedy instantly brings me back to the Columbine shootings in Colorado. I had recently moved to Colorado and at that time my daughter attended Columbine Elementary. I was at school at CU Boulder when I heard the news and was panicked, thinking it happened at her elementary school since they just kept saying Columbine and did not distinguish it was a high school and a different city. I had to wait to get to her school due to the distance between my school and her and it felt like forever for me to get to her. I was very relieved to hold her later that day. My heart hurts for those that won’t be able to hold their children after today’s event.

I really want to give my daughter a hug right now.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/connecticut-school-district-lockdown-shooting-reports/story?id=17973836#.UMuGyW9QVb1

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The good kind of tired

So this is what being utterly mentally exhausted feels like. My brain worked hard today for the first time in a long time and it felt GOOD. And now my brain gets to go to bed 🙂

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This is where I am at

I think this is the stage called acceptance. I’m ready to close the studio. I’m tired of the amount of work it takes to keep it open, the extremely small amount of money I get for all my work and mostly for feeling like I am giving, giving, giving and have nothing left to give. I’m emotionally drained, financially tapped out and my creative side is ready for something new, even if that new thing is nothing.

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Pseudo-tradition of the X-Files marathon

I’ve been a fan of watching X-Files marathons on Thanksgiving since they ran back in the days the Sci-Fi channel could spell its name correctly and marathons on the t.v. were the only way I could afford to see X-Files. I recall watching them when my daughter and I had just move to Colorado in 1994!

Now I own many of the box sets and could watch them any time I want, yet there is something about watching hours and hours of X-Files over the holiday and into the weekend that is semi-therapeutic for me. We finished season five last night and as much as I liked the show, I never did watch the entire series until the very end since that means it would really be over; this is my little way of making sure the show is still alive, at least in my brain. Into years seven, eight and nine of the show my weekly attention to watch the show really faltered so some of the episodes are actually new to me.

We’ve watched half of season six today, while I’ve done laundry, made egg-less cake for the first time in my Kitchen-Aid mixer and had leftovers. I have never gone to a Black Friday sale and much prefer my pseudo-tradition of staying at home and hanging out with my family for two days straight while letting my brain rest from interaction with the rest of the world.

Fish-giving

Kitchen-Aid and egg-less cake

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Introspection

This is harder than it looks.

Inner Guru

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Very grateful this year.

Great night’s sleep on the new memory foam mattress. Last minute appointment for massage tomorrow with my favorite masseuse. Going back to work pretty much full time which eliminates much financial stress.

I’m feeling very grateful right about now.

And the planets shall align the first day I go back to work full-time? Me thinks the Universe doth hath conspired!

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